


Woodsmen

by WolfyWithSunglasses



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Awkwardness, Bilbo Baggins Being an Idiot, Camping, Dwalin has beer, First Meetings, M/M, Thorin Is an Idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:56:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5549933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyWithSunglasses/pseuds/WolfyWithSunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No.” Bilbo said, he made sure to say it as clearly as he could.<br/>“It would be fun for young Frodo.” Gandalf offered. He smiled smugly to himself as he spoke. He always had that face when he had some secret or great plan.</p><p>or</p><p>Gandalf is smart. Bilbo lies. Thorin is a dork. Dwalin has beer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woodsmen

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> My english isn't the best. I hope you like it.  
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Enjoy!

“No.” Bilbo said, he made sure to say it as clearly as he could.

“It would be fun for young Frodo.” Gandalf offered. He smiled smugly to himself as he spoke. He always had that face when he had some secret or "great" plan. Bilbo had taught himself to never trust that old man ever again, after the incident with his garden and his money, no, never.

Well, yes, so it was great to win the so called contest. His flowers were price winning, that he knew quite well. Gandalf was to thank for winning. But taking his price, no. So, the price was some money to the family of the winner, but Gandalf was a family friend. He’d rather give his price to Lobelia then him, which said a lot because Bilbo couldn’t stand her. 

Bilbo let out a sight. “I’m not the-.” He glanced around to make sure that his nephew was nowhere in sight. “-camping type.” 

“Oh, but my dear Bilbo, you used to love camping and the outside.”

“Well, not anymore.” Bilbo protested. He’d rather want Gandalf to leave, but asking him would be rude.

“Camping?” A voice piped up from outside the kitchen door. “Are we going camping, Uncle Bilbo? Can we?” Frodo asked excitedly. 

Gandalf didn’t hide how glad he was for Frodo listening in on them. For all Bilbo knew, he had planned all of this.

“Can I ask Sam to come with?” Frodo continued. “I’m going to ask Sam.”

He was out the door again before Bilbo could protest. “I’m not the camping type, we’re not going camping.” 

 

“I’m not the camping type.” Bilbo muttered to himself as he carried the old tent, he hadn’t used since high school, towards the small spot they had borrowed. 

Beorn, Gandalf’s friend, surprisingly nice fellow, had offered them a spot.  
A couple of other people would be camping nearby, so they wouldn’t be too lonely.

He threw their stuff at what he hoped was dry earth. 

Having nothing in his hands felt delightful and he took a small moment to look around, trees, nothing but trees. Great, he already missed home. 

“Uncle Bilbo!” Frodo shouted from behind him. “Can we go exploring, please, please!” 

“Don’t go too far!” Bilbo answered and couldn’t help but smile as the two children excitedly ran off. 

He turned back to his work. Now, he hadn’t put up a tent since high school and he hadn’t even been the one to do it. He had read the instructions, so that was something. Uhm. Bilbo found the instructions and studied them. So yes, he was a hundred per cent sure now. He had no idea of how he was going to do this.

He scratched his chin. Ah, yes, taking the tools he needed out of the bag must be a good first step. Then he could run back to Beorn, say that his tent had somehow ended up getting taken by some eagles and hopefully stay at his cabin. Rather that, than go back home and disappoint Frodo.

Bilbo folded the paper with the instructions and put it in his pocket. He picked up the bag and let it all fall out.

The instructions said that he was going to put the poles, grey sticks, together and put them through the holes in the tent. Also, there were some strings and tread. That he could figure out later.

He turned around to look in the direction where Frodo and Sam had run off. No, he couldn’t just lie to them. No, that would be wrong.

He let out a sight, fell to his knees, rolled up his shirtsleeves and looked over his mess.

It went better than he had expected. Meaning, he had managed to stick the poles together. He had done exactly what the instructions had said, plus two breaks. Which in his mind, was better than he had done in his youth. Azog had Smaug had been very good at helping. Still, didn’t stop them from being jerks.

“Do you need any help?” The voice came suddenly from nowhere. Bilbo couldn’t help but yelp in surprise. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you.” The same voice spoke quickly.

Bilbo shook his head, eyes on his mess. “No, no, it’s fine, I’m fine.” He spoke trying to get the warmth off his face. Where had this person come from? It was not Beorn, that much he knew, probably the other camper who also was going to be there.

“I mean.” Bilbo started. “Ehm, I’m honestly not very good with tents...” He spoke truthfully and looked up at the stranger. “...like these, I camp... much.” He lied. His face was now on fire.

There was a thing about Bilbo that many knew. He never lied, unless he had to. Which for now, he had not told a lie. He had told the truth. Now, it was just up to the listener to interpret his words. The last thing he said was a lie.

“I...” Their eyes met for a couple of seconds but the stranger quickly averted his stare over to the tent. “I could help you, if you wish, of course.”

“Yes, yes.” Bilbo said nodding his head. “I mean, thank you. I usually manage on my own but I always welcome help.” He lied twice this time, but he couldn’t say no.

And, the stranger was just so, so, very, so very attractive. He probably hung out in the woods for fun, chopped wood bare-chested and sang while sitting around the fireside. That was what real wood-people did, right? Bilbo turned his head away and grimaced before turning back. He stood back up a wiped away some imaginary dust and an ant.

The woodsman was taller than him, had his hair up in a bun and a very magnificent beard. His appreciation for beards had actually started when he realised that he could not grow one himself. It didn’t really help that the stranger seemed to have strong forearms and was dressed in a flannel shirt. The worst part was that he was probably straight. Something that Bilbo feared. Well, he did not fear straight people. His whole family was straight. He was the non-straight cousin.

Bilbo watched as Thorin Oakenshield, which was what he introduced himself as, set up his tent in record time.

“I haven’t seen a tent like this since high school.” Thorin said and clapped his hands together. The tent hadn’t been used since Bilbo’s high school days either. It had been collecting dust since Bilbo came home from the worst childhood experience he could remember.

“Are you with anyone?” Bilbo asked. They were the only one in a hundred meter radius if Sam and Frodo hadn’t gone off too far. Letting silence fall between them would probably be awkward. “Here.” He added quickly.

“I’m with my nephews.” Thorin replied and scratched his very magnificent beard. “They’re not mine. I mean, they are. They are my sister’s.” 

Bilbo cracked a small smile. “I’m with my nephew and his friend. They’re five.”

“The youngest, Kili, is five. Fili is seven.” 

“I guess you don’t have any children of your own.” Bilbo spoke before he could stop himself. He felt stupid for asking. What if he had children? 

“No.” Thorin said calmly. He leaned into the closest tree. “I’m single.”

“Oh.” Bilbo replied and let out a relived breath. 

Before he could answer a child who was not his came running through a bush with leaves in his long brown hair, and a wide grin on his muddy face. Whatever the child had been doing, most likely bathed in mud, he hoped that Frodo hadn’t also done.

“Uncle! Uncle!” Probably Kili shouted as he waved his arms up and down like a bird trying to fly. “Did you ask him?”

Bilbo looked questioning from Kili to Thorin whose cheeks and ears were bright red.

Kili ran up to his uncle and grabbed his hand. He smiled at Bilbo. “I’m Kili.” 

“Bilbo Baggins.” 

“Mr. Boggins.” Kili spoke and looked from him and up at his uncle. Thorin opened his mouth to say something but Kili was quicker. “My uncle likes you.”

“Children.” Thorin awkwardly laughed and lifted Kili up to probably try and shut him up.

“He really likes you, and he wants you to stay at our cabin! Please, Mr. Boggins, it would make him less grumpy!”

“I’d love to.” Bilbo replied. 

Thorin and his nephew stopped their awkward fighting and stared at him. Kili grinned wide.

“Really, it’s okay if you don’t want to.” Thorin said, sounding like he didn’t believe him.  
“I’ll just get my nephew and Sam.” Bilbo said. This was perfect. His situation was perfect. Now he didn’t have to sleep on the ground. Only one problem, how would he take his tent apart?

“Fili is with them.” Kili said and was finally let back down on the ground. He walked over to Bilbo and tugged at his shirtsleeve. “Uncle saw you when you took your things out of the car.” He whispered, but Thorin heard everything, telling from his bright red face. “He got this strange expression on his face. It was really weird, but you’re nice.”

 

Kili had decided to run a long before them so he could tell Fili and the others. 

“We come up here every summer.” Thorin explained while trying to keep Bilbo’s tent on his back. He had offered to carry it. Bilbo had of course, half-heartedly, objected, but Thorin had insisted. “Usually my sister and her husband comes a long.” 

The cabin was small, but cosy. Strangely Bilbo liked it. It was red, with four rooms, two bedrooms, a living room and a small kitchen. Outside there was a small house where the loo was. 

It was surrounded by tall trees, while a small river ran passed it.

“I don’t want to be rude.” Bilbo begun awkwardly, because the last thing he wanted was to be rude.

“Their parents wanted some alone time, so she decided that I needed to spend some quality time with them.” Thorin said, he looked pained, because of the weight on his back.

“You know, I could-.” 

“No, we’re already here.” Thorin said and smiled pained. He picked up speed and set the tent down by the wall with a relived huff.

Bilbo came a bit slowly after. Thorin helped him with his own bag. 

“Thank you.”

A bench was seated by the wall that faced the river. The sun was high up on the sky. They sat down and rested against the wall. Silence surrounded them. Only the sound of the river and birds existed.

“I’m a teacher.” Bilbo said after a long comfortable silence. “It was actually a friend, I don’t want to call him a friend, his name is Gandalf, who came up with this idea that I should go camping.”

Thorin raised an eyebrow. “I know a man by that name.”

“You do?” Bilbo stared at him. “Long grey hair? Makes very good fireworks and makes you do things you don’t want to?”

Thorin nodded. “Come to think of it, you remember Dis, right?” He waited until Bilbo nodded. “He bought my sister a stay at the hotel she is at now.”

They stared at each other. Bilbo was sure of that Thorin was thinking the same thing. Gandalf had set them up. 

Silence fell over them. Both of them look away from the other.

“I’ve heard that setups can be awkward.” Thorin said not looking his way.

“We’re both idiots, aren’t we?” Bilbo said and met Thorin’s eyes as he turned his head. They both smiled.

“Yeah.” 

For a moment there was just them. Something fluttered in Bilbo’s tummy. Oh god, they had just met and he was already feeling like this. 

 

“I brought beer!” A voice boomed and shook them both out of their trance. 

“Uncle!” Kili shouted. “Dwalin is here!”

The two men looked up. A tall man, who reminded Bilbo of a biker, came towards them with a box in his arms. Three children were clinging to him. Sam was awkwardly hanging on to his arm, while Frodo hung on this other arm. Kili sat with his legs around his neck while the other one, Fili, walked beside them with another box in his arms.

“Am I interrupting?” Dwalin asked smugly.

Bilbo could hear Thorin huff. It was kind of cute and hilarious.

“Just set the boxes in the kitchen-.” Thorin said. “- and the children in the living room.” 

“Now, wait.” Dwalin said still smiling. “I must introduce myself.” He turned to Bilbo. “Dwalin. At your service.” 

Thorin groaned in annoyance.

 

After the children had been put to sleep, they sat outside. It was nicer than Bilbo had first imagined. The night sky was beautiful. Now he could see the stars and the moon clearly. He had wrapped himself in a warm blanket, so it wasn’t too horrible. The beer helped as well.

“You’re nice Bilbo,” Dwalin explained and took a sip from his beer before he started laughing, something which made Bilbo uncertain if it was the truth. “Well.” He pushed himself of the ground. “I’m going to take a leak.”

When he was finally out of earshot Thorin turned to him. “I’m sorry about him.”

“No, it’s fine.” Bilbo answered. Honestly he was okay with it, this time it wasn’t a lie. 

“You know.” Thorin begun awkwardly. “You see, after this... would you like to go out on a real date with me?” 

“Yes.” Bilbo answered too quickly. “I mean, that would be lovely.” 

A relieved expression crossed Thorin’s face.

While Dwalin was taking his time, Bilbo was sure that both he and Thorin were slowly getting more, not quite drunk, but drunk enough to spill truths.

Bilbo’s head fell on Thorin’s shoulder. It was nice. Thorin was nice and warm. “I haven’t camped since high school.” Bilbo confessed.

He felt Thorin laugh. “I suspected that.”

“It’s not that funny.” Bilbo mumbled tired. “The guys I had to share tents with tricked me. They told me that there, god, I can’t remember.” He groaned. “I mean, it was raining and I was lost in the woods.” 

“Must’ve been terrifying.” 

“I thought no one was going to find me.” Bilbo smiled. “I was only lucky I was found. Which-.” He pushed himself of Thorin and looked at him. “Was the most embarrassing thing, specially for a teenage boy.”

“I think my sister did the same thing to me.” Thorin mumbled. He lifted up his right arm and invited Bilbo in. He gladly accepted.

By the time Dwalin came back, they were both asleep.


End file.
